Ponderings

I sometimes fantasize about what my business would be like if Paul and I would have waited to have children. I think of the extra money we would have to spend on the business, the workshops I would be able to attend if I weren't worried about leaving my family, the weddings I would accept if family time were not a factor, my office that wouldn't be consumed with toys, and the time I would have to just work.

With every job I take, I think of what I'm giving up. I worry that Collin spends too much time playing by himself without me being able to play with him. Then when I crawl on the floor and we read books, roll balls, learn colors, roll balls, sing abc's, roll balls, tickle, and did I mention rolling balls? Yeah, rolling balls is big fun in our house. I think about the albums I need to be working on and the pictures I need to be editing and the wedding invitations that aren't quite finished yet. And don't even get me started on the house, because on any given day, it's pretty much a disaster! It has been so hard to find that balance, and it's something I struggle with daily.

I guess the point of my rambling is this: I don't know one other mother who doesn't feel the same way. Every decision we make, we question. "Is working what's best for the family? What am I giving up; what am I gaining? What about my needs as a person, not just a mother?"

I love my job with everything I have in me, and I'm so glad that I have been able to work from home. I'm learning to put the guilt aside, because I really do have the best of both worlds. I get to do my job which I love so very much, keep my customers happy, and watch my son grow up. So, the majority of my summer will be spent playing in the sand box and at Castaway Cove and in the floor rolling balls; because I wouldn't miss this time to be Lauren Clark (an incredibly awesome photographer)! And while I do sometimes imagine what my business would be like without Collin, I could never imagine my life without him.

Workee Work, Busy Bee!

Wow! This was one crazy, busy weekend. On Saturday morning I drove to Fort Worth to take Lucy's bridals. She is so awesome! (and cute and funny!) When I commented about her changing her face in every picture, her response - "I've been watching America's Next Top Model" she kept me laughing the whole time. Now I really can't wait for her wedding, because I know how much fun it is going to be!
Then Sunday, I drove back to the Dallas area for a work shop. It was a great chance to get some shots that I wouldn't normally take.
So, after driving for about 10 hours this weekend, I'm pooped! Paul's going on vacation next week, and I've decided I am too! I've got weddings booked for July, but nothing else! So, to not do anything but shoot on the weekends and edit during the week, that's a vacation!
Anyway, enough rambling, time to see the goods! The first is from the workshop, and the rest are of Lucy.

Katie

This is Katie, and she's my bridal barbie. Anything I told her to do, she'd do a thousand times better; and she only complained a little about the heat.

Emma & Reece

Sarah, one of my best gal pals, and I went to the park the other day to shoot some pics of her kids for father's day. (Way to wait til the last minute Sarah!)Despite Emma HATING to have her picture taken, we managed to keep her distracted long enough to get some good ones.

Emma giving me the stink eye when I asked her to snuggle Reece.

Robyn + Jesse (Fugate!!!!)

Okay, to say Robyn and I have a history is putting it lightly. Do you remember that one friend? The one that when you think about your childhood, it's hard to remember a moment that they are not in? Well, Robyn is mine; we were inseparable for the better part of a decade. People grow up, and we're not as close as we used to be, but when we get together it's like the months have been minutes, and we're right back in high school. To shoot her wedding has been one of the greatest moments of my professional life. To be a part of her day, well, there are no words.
Robyn and Jesse, I love you guys, and congratulations!!!
-Jess